Steph and Tom always knew they wanted to start a family. Even before Steph had an operation that meant they wouldn’t be able to have birth children, adoption was something they both felt drawn to.
They began their journey with little understanding of the process, but after attending a webinar and doing some research, they learned that local authority agencies often have links with younger children and babies, the age range they were hoping for.
“I thought the process was going to be worse than it was,” says Tom. “People told us it would be really in-depth and invasive, but it was a lot easier than I anticipated.”
From the start, they were supported by the same social worker, Alex, who guided them through each stage. Her consistent support made a real difference. “She almost became a friend,” Steph says. “She got to know our humour and was always available when we had questions.”
After the initial visit, Steph and Tom completed Stage One training, which gave them a realistic view of adoptive parenting. The sessions didn’t sugarcoat the potential challenges but also offered encouragement by including real stories from other adopters, foster carers, and support workers.
The couple chose the Early Permanence route, also known as Foster for Adoption (FFA), which allows a baby or young child to be placed with prospective adopters while care proceedings are still ongoing. This meant Steph and Tom were able to bring their son home directly from the hospital at just 7 days old. They even met his birth mum — an experience that has stayed with them and will help them talk openly with their son about his early life.
As part of the EP process, they also had to take on foster carer responsibilities, such as attending appointments, keeping records for the local authority, and managing contact time with the birth family. “At one point, he had family time five times a week,” Steph recalls. “It wasn’t always easy, but we knew the stability we were offering him would have a lasting impact.”
The timeline of their placement happened incredibly fast. They received a call on a Friday to say a birth mum was in labour. By the following Friday, they had their baby in their arms. In just seven days, they had to decide with social workers whether it was the best route for this baby, and then they had to purchase and prepare themselves for a newborn. “Within 24 hours, we had the house full of nappies, toys and furniture — it was a whirlwind,” Steph laughs.
Before learning about EP, they thought adoption meant taking in a child around 18 months old. Now, they’ve experienced all their little boy’s firsts — from his first smile to his first roll — something they once thought they might miss out on.
The couple plans to be open with their son about his story and maintain contact with his birth mum through the letterbox system twice a year. They’re also open to increasing that contact in the future, depending on what’s best for him.
Throughout the process, the honesty and openness of their social worker helped them feel fully supported and informed. They were also put in touch with another couple going through EP, which gave them a real-life insight into what to expect.
Now, they’re simply enjoying parenthood and watching their little boy grow.
“Our little boy is just fabulous,” Steph says. “Being a parent has been life-changing, and we wouldn’t change the Early Permanence process for anything — it’s been perfect for us. Even now, knowing all the challenges, we wouldn’t change our decision to adopt through the EP route. The good parts have been so incredible that they far outweigh the hard ones.”
Even now, knowing all the challenges, we wouldn't change our decision to adopt through the EP route. The good parts have been so incredible that they far outweigh the hard ones.“I thought the process was going to be worse than it was,” says Tom. “People told us it would be really in-depth and invasive, but it was a lot easier than I anticipated".
If you’re thinking about adoption, don’t hesitate to reach out. Contact us today to receive an information pack and take the first step toward making your dream of family a reality.
